Jump
by Kittycatgirl0
Summary: Jump. She has to. They say she's worthless. She knows she must be worthless. She shuts her eyes and jumps. And he catches her. Warning: self harm, suicide, abuse themes
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, this idea just kind of slapped mE, and I ran to write. Check out my other story!**

"Mom? I just wanted to say I love you, and I'm sorry. It's not your fault," I say into the phone, second thoughts creeping in.  
"Katniss, what are you talking about?"  
"Just put Prim on."  
"Katniss, what's wrong?"  
"Put Prim on or I'll hang up." She shuffles over, and Prim's voice nearly cracks me. But then it all comes back. I remember the words. The texts. Worthless. Ugly. Fat. Bitch.  
"Katniss, what's wrong?"  
"Nothing, baby. I just called to say I love you, I'm sorry, and it's not your fault. Baby, I have to."  
"Have to what? Katniss, you're scaring me."  
"Goodbye. I love you." I disconnect the call, and look over the note.  
Mom,  
I'm so sorry. This isn't your fault. Just check my facebook wall. The password is 1848970. I love you.  
Prim,  
I love you more than the sun and stars. If there was any way I could tell you how much on paper, I would. Don't let this break you.  
To everybody who talked to me online,  
This is your fault. You're right. You've won. Congratulations.  
I suck in a deep breath. Footsteps pad down the hall. They must have called for the building police. I run to the open window. Nineteen floors has to be enough to do it. I close my eyes and jump.  
Peeta's POV  
I look up at the sky. A beautiful, clear sky, cloudless with the sun burning down. Only ruined by the smog dotting the sky. My eye is caught on an apartment building. Normal building. Except for a high floor, not sure which. I can't tell why it's catching my eye. Then I see her. Eyes closed, plummeting down. Her beauty is unconventional. I am stunned for a few seconds, then realize she's falling. Others are noticing too. One is taking video. I run out to under the window, and hold out my arms. I dive to catch her. Luckily, she falls into my arms. "Why?" she asks. The answer that pops into my head is simple: You're beautiful.  
"Because- I guess instinct. I saw you, and just dived. I need somebody's number. I won't call 911, but, I do need to call somebody."  
"My sister, Prim. 101-555-7171." I dial in the number. It's answered on the first ring.  
"Hello? A voice, sounding to be maybe fourteen, answers.  
"Hello, this is Peeta. I'm calling about your sister."  
"What happened?" she asks, obvious worry in her voice.  
"She's ok. Basically. I just caught her, under Montague apartments."  
"Caught her? She fell?"  
"Umm, jumped."  
"I'll be over." She hangs up. I gently lay Katniss on the sidewalk. People begin to gather. Katniss pushes herself into a sitting position, and I sit down.  
"Are you ok? Should I call 911?"  
"No, just a bit shocked. You didn't have to do that you know."  
"But I did."  
"Wait, you mean?" Her brow furrows.  
"I just kind of had to." My cheeks are bright red, I know. I look around. People are taking video. "Sure you're ok?"  
"I am absolutely fine. What's your name, anyway?"  
"Peeta. You?"  
"Katniss." I hold out my hand, and the warmth of her hand in my hand as we shake hands pulses through mine. I'm having an I-will-never-wash-this-hand-again moment. I may hold it a bit too long, because she pulls her hand away. My brothers emerge from our bakery across the street. They saunter over, obviously taking in the crowd. Pushing people aside, they discover me in the middle.  
"Well, Petey, you seem to have attracted quite the crowd," Graham says.  
"Or maybe it's her, Pita Bread," Rye says, unnecessarily using his annoying nickname for me.  
"Or maybe you should shut up, Whole Wheat Rye," I smile, proud of the newly dubbed nickname. Graham snorts.  
"Pathetic, Petey."  
"I wouldn't be talking, Graham Cracker. Find Chocolate and Marshmallow, and you have a smore."  
"Ooh, burn. Not. More like frostbite."  
"You are both pathetic at insulting each other," Rye interjects.  
"Shut up, Rye Bread," Graham and I say in unison.  
"Oh, brotherly love," Katniss jokes.  
"How can you tell we're brothers?" Graham asks suspiciously.  
"How can't I tell?" The gathered crowd laughs. We chat for a few minutes amiably. Until, of course, Prim and Katniss' mother show up.  
"Katniss!" her mom yells. She and Prim run over. Prim has golden hair in two braids, looking younger than fourteen. Katniss' mother kneels by her. "Honey, are you ok?" She checks her pulse. "A bit fast," she mutters to herself.  
"Fine, a bit dizzy."  
"To be expected when you jump out of a building! Why so you do this to me?" Up close, I can see the tears streaming down her face.  
"It's not your fault!"  
"Who's fault is it?"  
"Their's," she says, pointing at the phone taking video,"All the people online, and they're right. I am worthless. I was just too stupid to do it right."  
"Honey, who in hell told you you were worthless?"  
"I told you, them. People posting on my facebook wall, tweeting, all that stuff."  
"Why did you believe them?"  
"They all knew me. All from my old high school. They knew me. For who I truly was."  
"Baby, if they thought you were worthless, how in hell could they have known you?"  
"Mom, trust me. They did."  
"I can't trust you, honey. Katniss, I just can't. Who was it?"  
"Mostly Glimmer Serpentina."  
"Ugh. Her parents were the most overly sweet people, great at sucking up. They hid their inner demons."  
"That sounds like Glimmer." She turns to me. "Um, I guess.. Thank you."  
"You're welcome." She stands up and hugs me.  
"Do you know each other?" Katniss' mother says stiffly with venom creeping in her voice. Prim bounds up.  
"Hey, you're the dude that caught Kitty, right?" She asks, smile beaming on her face.  
"Yeah, I guess so." Prim squeezes me in a tight hug.  
"Thank you so much!" She releases me, and I see tears pricking at her eyes. "How old are you, anyway?"  
"I'm nineteen."  
"So is Kitty! Coincidence, I guess." She turns around and hugs Katniss, just as bone-crushingly as she did me, I think. My ears strain to hear the words exchanged. "Why, Katniss? You should have told me. I could have beat the crap out of Glimmer."  
"I had to, Prim. I thought she knew me, but I think I realize she didn't."  
"Good timing, huh?" Prim replies jokingly.  
"I'm so sorry."  
"It's ok, sis." I turn back and realize Katniss' mom is is trying to get my attention.  
"Oh, hello Mrs.-"  
"Ms. Everdeen. My husband died in an explosion a while ago. I can't thank you enough."  
"I'm so sorry. Don't worry about thanking me, you've all done quite enough."  
"We've done nothing! You must come to dinner tonight."  
"Oh, I'm fine," I say, knowing it would be awkward.  
"I insist, you must."  
"Ok, I guess so. Thank you."  
"Come over at six, 19 Everlark Drive." (A/N- just the best at thinking up names, right?)  
"Ok. Thank you, I have to go." I rush back to the bakery, to find Rye and Graham waiting. They pull me into the baking part of the lower floor. Graham wolf whistles.  
"Some girl you found!"  
"Shut up, she's not my girl!" I shove them apart to go upstairs.  
"So you deny accepting a dinner invitation."  
"No, but it was from her mother! Shut up."  
"Somebody's got a hot date!"  
"Hot date, my ass." I twist Graham's wrist and storm upstairs. I slam my door like a third grader and lock it. Then I settle into my bed with my computer. Soon enough, I'm internet stalking Katniss. I find a video with about half a million views, posted a few minutes ago. It's titled: Girl saved from suicide jump by teen. It's just a video of her jumping and us talking afterwards. I look out my window. The crowds haven't left, in fact, an ABC news truck is parked in front of our house. Graham and Rye are talking with an anchor. I open the window, sure anything they say on live television will be amusing.  
"Our Petey totally has a..."  
"Shut the hell up, Graham!" I scream. He continues. I run to his room and grab a condom from his nightstand. I fill it with water until it seems about to burst. Then I write in Sharpie, "love you!- Petey" I grab a bucket of flour and pour it on him. I know he's wearing his favorite shirt. Then I aim and fire the makeshift water balloon. The result is a pasty mixture all over him. "Told you to shut up!" I say, in fits of laughter. He runs inside, probably to give me a hug . I scramble to lock the door. I see him jiggle the handle. He sighs and runs back into the bathroom. The sound of plastic filling with water fills the air. But I know all his tricks. I grab a dirty mixing bowl and place it directly under the viewing hole. Sure enough, water pours out into my bowl. I pour the water straight back. He won't expect that.  
Screams of, "Shit!" echoing in the hall confirm I was right. I go straight back to stalking Katniss. Out of curiousity, I Google her. A Yahoo article pops up, it's a half hour old. The headline reads: Californian Girl Saved by Heroic Teen. I'm intrigued instantly. I click the article. It describes me as a mysterious nineteen year old boy named Peeta, unknown last name, two older brothers, refusing to talk to news anchors. A videochat pops up on the Iphone sitting on my nightstand. It's from yahoonews . I decide I might as well answer.  
"Hello? Peeta Mellark, to who am I speaking?"  
"Dina Travinesky, may we video this interview?"  
"Um, sure, and who said I said yes to interview?"  
"When you answered the videochat."  
"Oh, well, apparently I'm stuck now." I sigh.  
"Ok. So, why did you dive to catch Katniss, anyway?"  
"It was just instinct, I guess. I recognized her, I think we went to the same grade school or something."  
"Ah, did you know each other well?" I blush at the memory. In grade school, I had a crush on her. In the first grade, I walked up to her and kissed her. She shoved me. "I assume you did?"  
"Let's say we weren't besties. I sincerely hope Katniss doesn't remember various events in first grade."  
"Will you specify?"  
"I was a weird kid. Next question."  
"Oh well. Did you call an ambulance or anything?"  
"No, actually. She looked fairly ok, and said she wasn't in any pain. She could stand up and stuff. And her mom showed up, who's a doctor, so she made the decision that Katniss was physically ok."  
"Do you know why Katniss fell?"  
"She, umm, jumped."  
"Really? Why?" Fire burns in my eyes.  
"A biatch from high school. I knew her. She used to tear the wings off of butterflies. She's probably sitting at her computer laughing."  
"Not your favorite person?"  
"She punched me in second grade. Gave me a black eye and said I'd punched her. She started fake crying and I got suspended for two weeks." I don't finish the story, it ends with the first time my mother ever hit me. And not the last.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok sorry it took me a few days to write this, thank you to all my followy and favority and reviewy people! Have a virtual muffin!

* * *

Peeta's POV  
Remembering the years she had me tucked under her thumb make me shudder. She still has her thumbnail gripped on me tight, having told me she wouldn't hesitate to use a gun if I left the house. Maybe I could disown her? No, she's no longer my guardian so that wouldn't matter. In my preoccupation, I realize I have forgotten about dinner at the Everdeen's. It's six forty, so I have about five minutes to get ready. I throw on dress shoes, jeans, and a polo, and rush out the door. Swinging into my car, I take off for their house. It takes me about eight minutes to locate Everlark Drive, and one minute to find house 19. I parallel park outside and knock on the door, silently cursing myself for forgetting to bring Mrs. Everdeen flowers. I take a closer look at the house. It's slightly shabby, a worn down small abode. But a certain warmth emanates from it. A homey feel. Katniss answers. "Hi! Come on in." I curse myself inwardly again. This is absolutely completely awkward.  
"Uhh, sure." I follow her inside. She brightly shows me around. I see her room from when she was little, the kitchen, where her mother is frantically trying to finish dinner. I make a mental note to do their dishes. We chat amiably, if awkwardly, through the tour.  
"Hey, you want to hang in my room?" she asks in a manner that seems fake, a shield. She pulls me in to her room, and sighs. "Finally! I have to act all happy in front of my mom and Prim so they don't think I'm gonna, like, try to commit suicide or whatever. They're being all crazy protective."  
"That's normal."  
"How would you know normal for after suicide?" Her eyes narrow. "You haven't...?"  
"Yes, I most definitely have. It was three years ago."  
"So you were sixteen? Why?"  
"Yeah. I was, umm, being bullied," I say vaguely. She can't know. If anyone knows, she'll kill me.  
"Why can't I know who's going to kill you?"  
"Shit, I said that out loud?"  
"Yes. Now spill."  
"You literally just heard me say..."  
"Yes, yes. Nobody can kill you, they'd be in a teen rehabilitation program, for anger issues, y'know?"  
"I don't think so."  
"Why not."  
"She's a good liar," I lie.  
"And you are a bad one."  
"How'd you come to that conclusion?"  
"You have this twisted, guilty face. Are you just telling me all this to make me feel better?" She storms out. Now I've done it.  
"Katniss! Wait!"  
"Why should I?" she says in an accusing tone.  
"I need you to trust me. I've known you for about five or six hours. Just give me one chance. When we know each other better, I promise, you ask, I will tell. But right now, I'm kind of on a thin tightrope without a net. Give me ten days. Ten days, to figure this out. Please, Katniss." Her face screws up in thought. It takes all my power not to laugh. I deliver a small smile, and she seems to become putty in my hands. Fragile, ever so breakable putty. I gently smile again, and she seems to crack.  
"I guess I owe you that much," she says grudgingly. I suddenly notice how beautiful her scowl is. Her defined jaw, giving her a hard edge that reveals a softer side, a glorious butterfly hiding in a dry gray cocoon. My eyes rest on her lips. They're full without makeup, set in that adorable scowl.  
"Peeta, stop," I firmly remind myself. Luckily not out loud. Also luckily, Prim skips in.  
"Dinner!" she sings.  
"Ohh, what'd you make?"  
"You were at the store with me. Pancakes, ya dumbo."  
"Guess I wasn't paying attention..."  
"Is it your boyfriend?"  
"Gale? No. Nonono."  
"You admit you're dating?" Prim asks with a silly smile on her face.  
"I guess so." The look on Kat's face is angry, and embarrassed. I almost laugh. But at the last minute, I see how scared she is. She looks a little bit terrified, almost. I put my hand protectively on her arm.  
"You ok?" She flinches at my touch, withdrawing. When she sees the concerned look on my face, she flinches again.  
"Sorry, I'm fine, just not used to anyone but Prim touching me," she confesses, although I suspect a deeper meaning from that flinch will reveal itself.  
"How about when I tell you my secret in ten days, you tell me why you're lying?"  
"Not lying!"  
"Please. Everyone knows your nose heats up when you lie your nose was a darker shade than the rest of your face, therefore meaning it had more blood flowing to it, which means it's heating up." I curse myself again, why do I always let the wall slip?  
"You're all- all smart!"  
"And?"  
"And, I think you should have told me!"  
"And, and, and, it's not something that comes up in conversation!"  
"We'll continue this after dinner," she says with slanted cat eyes. I smile, this should be interesting. We walk downstairs, rather mismatched looking. I'm smiling and practically skipping, she's trudging with a scowl plastered on her face. I guess it's a common expression for her.  
Katniss' POV  
He had to ask. He had to be so nice. It'd be easier to repay him if he was a jerk. He'd just make me have sex with him or something. That's all those brawny dudes want. My mother points at me, then her smile. I try my best to smile, and I find myself thinking of Peeta. His purity of mind. I look at him, and I swear that half smile melts my heart. I think I might- no, I remind myself. Memories flood back of my father's jump. Seeing him fall from that balcony broke my heart, shattered it, like a hammer had come down on it again and again, crushing all the fragments. I built a wall, a fort around my heart's remnants to protect it from further hurt. I thought Gale was the one. He made my fort cave in, and pieced together a bit of my heart, to live in forever. I had thought he cared about me. In a twisted way, I think he does to. He just might want to protect me. I know Gale needs help. I asked my mother once, and she told me, only knowing Gale's perfect outer shell that scraped a special place in your heart and ate away at the rest of your heart, blackening it, making it crumble and curl away, that I was lucky to have him. But I knew about the girls he brought behind the old elementary school, even bringing them to his bedroom sometimes. One time he brought me into his room and I spotted a black push-up bra. One I knew couldn't be mine, because Gale wouldn't let me wear push up bras. I wasn't allowed to wear dresses, either, or shorts with hems lower than my knee. I didn't say anything, because I knew what he'd do if I did. He always said I needed him. I supposedly couldn't function without him. For a while, I believed him. He ignored me for a couple days until I came up to his door crying. I've wished forever I never did. That's the thing I most have nightmares about, what he did to me after that. Peeta walks over and lightly taps my shoulder. I only flinch a little bit.  
"Why are you crying?" he whispers discreetly.  
"Nothing, just my dad." He doesn't say anything, just hugs me.  
"Did he...?"  
"Yeah, jumped off a balcony."  
"Mine got shot by a drunk with a gun."  
"Sorry."  
"You too. When?"  
"When I was twelve."  
"Mine died when I was almost thirteen."  
"Talk later?"  
"Ok." We both sit down stiff and awkwardly sit for a second. Mom says grace, and we sit down to eat.


	3. Chapter 3

Ok! so vote, do you want this to be everthorne or everlark? I cant decide!

I am changing the story a bit. I couldn't figure out how to change the chapter I'd already posted, so I want to say that now dinner with the Everdeens- pretend it happened a week later than it did. :) just cuz i needed the spacing. Not everything can happen in one day, after all. Anyway, i'll shut up now. Read!

Peeta's POV  
"Peeta, what do you enjoy?" says politely, trying to stoke the conversation.  
"Baking," I slightly vaguely. I wish I'd been more adamant. This is completely awkward.  
"Ahh, I remember, you work at the bakery?"  
"Yes, my family owns it. What do you do for a living?"  
"I work as a nurse. Katniss hunts and sells her game, organic supermarkets will pay a lot of money for that kind of stuff."  
"Lovely. Katniss, what do you enjoy?" I ask, deciding to directly address Katniss now.  
"Hunting. Not much else."  
"Ahh. Primrose?" I ask warmly, trying to engage everybody.  
"Oh, I love Buttercup, my kitty, and Lady, she's our goat. And I like knitting! Oh, and call me Prim."  
"Ok. What kind of cat do you have?"  
"The kind that doesn't eat rodents, just another mouth to feed," Katniss interjects, grumbling.  
"I take it you aren't particularly fond of Buttercup," I joke lightly.  
"Not exactly. We have this little game we play. We see who can hiss at the other longest."  
"Ah, I understand now. I play that with my mother sometimes. Seems like a lot of what she says is incomprehensible." Katniss giggles lightly, and checks a clock on the wall.  
"Mom, I have to go. D'you mind?"  
"I guess not," she says in a dismayed tone.  
"Where are you going? I could walk you there," I offer.  
"I don't need somebody walking me around."  
"I just feel bad that you guys gave me dinner. I want to make it up to you," I lie. I think I just want more Katniss time.  
"No, we're fine. What would be nice is *cough*cough* cookies *cough*."  
"I'm on it! Cookies for everyone." I don't know how my mother will react to this. She may be too drunk to understand what happened. Hope to god. I thank the Everdeens, and graciously exit. Katniss leaves at the same time as I do. We part at the door.  
"Umm, I never said... Thank you," she says quietly.  
"It was nothing. Sometimes we need help." I know this goes beyond dinner to what she believes was only helping her. Little does she know.  
"It was something. You made me realize..."  
"That you're," I hold my breath for a second, "Beautiful?" Instead of saying anything, she leans in and hugs me. I catch her woody scent and file it into my mental internet stalker-file on her. I know all about Katniss Everdeen. 5'2". Works a night job at Seven Eleven. Small stature. A wall keeping her emotions in, stainless steel and strong. I've pattered out a little hole to peek through that wall.

Katniss' POV  
I don't know why I hugged him. Beautiful? I'm a bitch. Ugly. Worthless. I remind myself. I pull away with a jolt. I realize I'm being rude and give him a small smile. Gale's car rounds the corner.  
"Run!" I whisper-scream at Peeta. He obeys. Gale rolls down the window.  
"Gonna get in, Catnip?" he says with a sugary fake voice. I know this is just in case of pedestrians happening to walk by. I get in with no struggle. It'll be worse if I don't. He pulls me in for a long kiss. I lean in, remembering the real him. The one I had a crush on in seventh grade. Before the accident. Before he changed. He pulls away.  
"Baby?" He says, hesitantly.  
"Yes, Gale?"  
"I was wondering, if, uhh..." He gets out of the car and walks around the car, and kneels on one foot into front of the open passenger door. "Katniss, we've been together, like, six years? I was wondering," he stutters, pulling out a small velvet box, "Katniss... Will you marry me?" The ring has a single small forest green crystal. I choose my words carefully.  
"I don't know if I'm ready."  
"A wedding won't happen tomorrow, baby." He reasons with me, and I see the logical, sympathetic, strong guy I knew.  
"I just can't." His eyes are angry and red. He snaps the case closed and shoves me in the car. He slams the door and guns the accelerator. I know what's next, and I know it won't be good. I might be able to remedy this.  
"Actually, Gale, if I had a few minutes to think, I might be able to... I don't know if I had the right answer when I said... You know. I was wrong, and I'm sorry." I don't mean a thing I say.  
"Dammit, Katniss, you ruined my proposal. Do you honestly think the offer's still open?"  
"Gale, I'm sorry! Can we forget this? Please?"  
"No! You should have known right away. It shouldn't take you a half hour to figure out if you love me!"  
"Gale, just let me out of the car now."  
"No!"  
"You're acting like a child, just let me out," I say, regretting my words as soon as they leave my lips. He drives faster, his knuckles white against the wheel. Damn my mouth for not being able to censor things for basic survival. He pulls up to his house. We wait for a second in the car. He plasters on a fake smile for his family, and loops his arm around mine.  
"Don't fuck this up," he whispers angrily at me. I don't answer, I just plaster on my own fake smile. We walk in to his house.  
"Hello, Mrs. Hawthorne," I say as if everything is completely normal, as if Gale and I are a happy couple.  
"Hi, Mom!" Gale says lightheartedly, with an unmistakable anger in his fake voice. Everything about him right now is fake. The smile. The words. The arm pulling me closer. Even I am fake.  
"Hello, Katniss! How are you?" I realize that they haven't seen anything about my escapades of late.  
"Wonderful," I lie seamlessly, "and you?"  
"I've been well. Worn out by all these kids!" she jokes. Hazelle is genuinely kind. I don't understand how Gale came from her. There is no sick, twisted side to Hazelle, or Posy, or any of the others in Gale's plethora of siblings. Just a slightly naive side. Gale pulls me upstairs to his room. His smile disappears.  
"Why do you do this to me?" he whispers so that his family won't hear, each word punctuated by a gut wrenching punch to the stomach. He pushes my up against a wall. "Gonna answer, bitch?"  
"I told you, Gale, I'm sorry."  
"You stepped on my heart. Sorry isn't good enough." He twist my arm behind my back. I let out a quiet whimper.  
"Gale, I know. I love you," I say. These are the most fake words I've uttered today.  
"Still not good enough. Too little, too late." He twists my arm harder. I hope to appease him, leaning in a kissing him. He pushes me away and twists my arm even harder than before. I hear a snap and a remembered pain of when I was six and broke my arm after falling off my bike. Gale lets go of my arm and punches me another five times in places bruises won't show. I need to get to a hospital, I know. I bring my knee up, hard. He's startled and lets go of me. I fly downstairs and run out the door, my breaths labored and quick. I can't get home, so I run a few blocks until I flag down a car. It's a woman with three kids in the back, one a baby. I tell her I just broke my arm and can't get home, could she drive me to the ER? She lets me in and I ask her to go fast. She asks how I broke my arm. I tell her I can't tell because God knows what my boyfriend would do to her if he knew she was helping me. This seems to melt her heart and she drives faster. I tell her to forget who I am, and run in to the ER. Luckily I have my ID on me. When they ask how it happens, I just say I fell down the stairs. The woman has left; I'm glad I didn't give her any contact info. They give me a sling, and I bill it to my insurance company. They will in turn bill my credit card for however much I owe. I leisurely walk home, my arm still hurts but they numbed the arm. I was told I would be able to come back for a cast, they also gave me a pain prescription. I scheduled an appointment to get the cast next week. It's good my mom wasn't at work when I came in.  
When I walk in, Prim shrieks. "Oh my god! Your arm!"  
"Language, Prim! And I just fell down the stairs at Gale's house. Nothing big. I just had him drop me off at the ER."  
"You didn't let him come in?"  
"No, Prim, I'm an adult. Where's mom?"  
"On the phone with Hazelle." Uh oh. Hazelle is sure to talk to my mom about me running out the door. I walk upstairs, hoping to remedy my lie. She's chatting on the phone. She doesn't notice me for a minute, then I clear my throat and grab her attention.  
"One sec, Hazelle," she says, pulling away from the phone, "Katniss, what the hell? A sling?"  
"Yeah, I fractured my arm." She leans back into the phone.  
"Hazelle, can I call you back? Kat showed up at home with a fractured arm and a sling."  
"Oh my! I should've made Gale walk her home, she just ran out the door. Looked a bit scared."  
"I'll ask her about it." She cups her hand over the speaker.  
"Kat? Why'd you run out?"  
"I- uhm, it will embarrass Gale if you tell Hazelle. Just tell her it was nothing, I just overreacted." She puts the phone up to her ear.  
"She said something about it being embarrassing, she says to tell you she just overreacted."  
"Tell her to get better!"  
"M'kay. Bye!" She hangs up. "Kat, what really happened?"  
"Uhm, I... Gale proposed. I wasn't ready. I just told him I couldn't and ran out. I must've looked shocked."  
"And the arm?"  
"I was gonna take the subway back, and I tripped walking down the subway stairs. A nice woman drove me to the hospital, and I scheduled an appointment next week to get a cast, and got a pain prescription."  
"Did they give you the x-rays?"  
"No, they said I couldn't get them without my Medicaid card."  
"Oh. I'll ask for them." She begins to examine my arm. "Does it hurt when I do this?" She squeezes my arm right where Gale was holding it.  
"Hurts like hell," I say, flinching in pain. She asks me to move it. I do, and excruciating pain shoots through my arm. I let out a tiny, choked whimper.  
"Oh baby, I'm sorry!" she exclaims, motherly instincts taking over. She guides me to the bathroom and changes me into pajamas, then puts me to bed, not listening to my protests. I check my phone.  
Gale: babe, i'm so sorry  
Gale:i didnt mean to break ur arm  
Gale:i was just really angry  
Gale:dammit, kat, answer me!  
Gale:babe, i said im sorry. please forgive me!  
Gale:im sorry! I decide to answer.  
Katniss:why is sorry supposed to be good enough for me to forgive you, but sorry's not enough for you to forgive me?  
Gale: ok, ok. i forgive you. im sorry.  
Katniss: thank you. im sorry.  
Gale: let me try again.  
A facetime alert shows up from Gale. I answer.  
"Just wanted to say my mom wants me to go. I'll see you later, ok?" he says. I see the old Gale again: tousled morning hair, his signature smile. This is the Gale I'm dating. Not the angry one, the one who hits me, not the one who thinks I'm a bitch. I'm dating the one who's world revolves around me, the one who wales me up on my birthday with a kiss and breakfast in bed. The one I love. The one who loves me.  
He hangs up. I know there's a goofy smile on my face. My eyes are drawn to my arm. I remember the anger, the hate in his eyes. My smile drops. Maybe he doesn't love me.  
"He proposed to you," I remind myself. I hear a knock on my window. Then another. It's more of a plink. I look over to the window just as a rock bounces off it. I walk over and look out. Gale is standing outside my window, along with Posy holding an ancient video camera. I open up the window.  
"Catnip, I wanted to tell you I'm so sorry!"  
"Stop worrying. I'm ok. It's not your fault!"  
"But it is! Catnip, I wanted to ask you something. I've asked you before. And I'll keep asking." I know what's next.  
"Ok, Gale. Shoot." A bunch of Gale's and my friends pop out. Finn's carrying a boombox. Everybody gets into a square. Finn pushes some buttons on the boombox, and "Hey Jude" blasts out. They know I love the Beatles. Everybody is dancing, swaying, and singing along. It's clearly quite impromptu, nothing planned.  
"Katniss, what I'm trying to say is that I'm not perfect. I've really fucked up this relationship, I know. But is there any chance in heaven, earth and hell that you'll make me the happiest man on Earth and marry me?"  
"I told you, Gale, I can't. I'm scared to be alone in a room with you. How can you expect me to marry you, and live with you?" I know this is the right thing to do for me to survive. "Gale, I love you, but we're hunters. The first instinct in the woods is pure survival. I know marrying you isn't the path to survival. I'm sorry, but I'm plainly and simply scared of you."  
"Kat, you have every right, and I'm sorry. I promise I'll see a therapist, a doctor."  
"Just what you promised after I quote-unquote broke my leg. After I got strange cooking burns on my back. After some pretty bad scars on my arms showed up from, ahem, an accident with a carrot I was chopping. I'm just lucky nobody saw the things you carved into me. Now it's happening again over a broken arm. I know you're sick, and this isn't you, it's not your fault. But it's kind of your fault you're still sick. You need to actually see a doctor. I will drag you there if it kills me. I love you, Gale. The real you. But that you is lost. Please, I need you to really go to a doctor."  
"I will!"  
"I don't know how to trust you anymore."  
"Is this- the end?"  
"Not the end. Just the end of this chapter. There will always be a place in my heart for you, but I think I need to pursue... Others."  
"Others? Is this because of some secret boyfriend!?" Gale screams. I'm glad I'm in my room because god knows what would happen if I was near him now.  
"Gale, no. It's not like that! I just need a little space, and time. i don't think you're... the one."  
Everyone in the yard is speechless. I slam my window shut, and lock my door. I watch out of the corner of my eye. Finn has Gale pinned up against a tree. His face is a little bit purple, he's screaming at Gale. I know what the words must be. My mom is crying. Posy is, too, not understanding why everybody's mad at her perfect older brother. Hazelle is sitting on the ground, her head between her knees. I can only understand how hard this is for her. I'm the only one who can see his battles. I know the real him is struggling to come out, but the disease is fighting harder. I break down in tears. I just hope I haven't lost him for good.  
THREE DAYS LATER (katniss has been hanging in her room lately)  
I hear a light knock on my door. "I don't want to talk! I don't need a therapist, I don't need to talk it through, and I don't want company, so save your breath!"  
"Won't even open your door for your little sister?" I only hear her.  
"As long as it's just you." I begrudgingly open the door. In comes Prim, Madge, Johanna, and Clove. "Prim! You poop!"  
"Oh, Katniss, language!" Johanna says, mocking me.  
"Johanna. We are here to help Katniss. Not to mock her," Madge says reprimandingly.  
"Hell, I kind of like this. I'm a hardcore hunter who can't eat brownies because they'll ruin my beautiful thighs. My boyfriend's failed proposal is currently on the youtube's most watched list on youtube,"she says, the last part she says in a deep voice that makes me sound like I'm a caveman.  
"Wait, what? Who posted it online?" I yell at the same time Johanna says, "Clove, how do you know what Katniss' thighs look like?"  
"Katniss- actually Gale, but then CNN. Wanna see? And Johanna, Katniss and I have both been meaning to talk to you and Madge..."  
"What? And my twelve year old sister's in the room, keep your humor to as close to PG as you can. Actually, make it pretty G. For you, that's just above R." Johanna hands me her phone. Youtube's open, and sure as hell, there the video is. It's been posted as part of a spinoff story by CNN, a update on my earlier stories, an insight as to why I jumped out of a building. I watch the news clip, entitled, "Heartbreaking proposal gives shows why girl attempted suicide". It's anchored by Diana Dawyer. (Haha, get it?) She paints me as "an inspiring teenage girl" who recently revealed just how "mentally unstable" her boyfriend is to her friends and family. My "heart wrenching speech" has "touched hearts" across the nation apparently. It changes my mind a little bit.  
"Katniss, will you please come out?" Prim says in a tiny voice. Her eyes melt my heart.  
"Baby. I- I love you. I'll come out, and shower, and eat. But after that, I really don't want to see anyone but you guys, mom, and... Annie. Tell Finn i don't want to talk to him because of- oh, you won't get it. Just give him this note." I scribble what I want to say on a piece of loose leaf paper.  
Finn,  
I don't want to talk to you right now. You treated my ex boyfriend (and your best friend) like shit. And I know what you're going to say, I don't want to hear it. Until you say sorry, (TO GALE) I refuse to talk to you, go to therapy, or talk to my mother.  
Katniss  
I add the whole thing about my mom to scare him. "Also, white lie, say I'm not talking to mom, and that she kind of fell apart again."  
"M'kay, Katters!"  
"Don't call me Katters, Madge." I hand them the note and stride past them, downstairs.


	4. Chapter 4

**So uhh yeah. Sorry but life happened and all that shit, so im like so so sorry!**

Finnick's POV  
Johanna shows up in my room with a slightly relieved look on her face. "Yo Finn! Kat's pissed at you, she wrote you a note. She's serious about this, dude. She's not talking to her mother, and refuses to until you do her bidding."  
"Mature much? And how'd you get into my room, anyway?"  
"Actually, you'll get it soon. She's pissed on the behalf of Gale. And I'm Johanna Mason. I don't give away my secret technique's, but I happen to know that you creative birdbrains hide the key under the mat."  
"Hey! I am at least a eagle brain."  
"Case in point: it's an for words that start with vowels. You learned that in first grade, doofus. Oh, I forgot you got held back a lot. I forgot you were still in kindergarten, so sorry."  
"Haha, very funny. Now shut up." I open the note, it's messily folded and looks tampered with (Johanna, I won't say names, but it was you). I read it quickly. "I have to apologize to- to him? He hurt Kitty. Tell her no."  
"I agree that she's nutso, but he was diagnosed with a type of depression that causes people to see others as, well... Harmful. Dangerous. It's called trackoria venomia, as it was originally thought to be contracted from snake venom. It distorted the Kat that Gale loved into a predator. But he didn't have it bad because he's always had it, but it was suppressed until his father died. He regrets things right after, but it's like there's a... Monster that comes out of him. It's not his fault. We can't blame anybody but monsters under the bed."  
"Oh. I need to tell Kitty and Gale I'm sorry."  
"Hell yeah. Go, I'm gonna raid your gum drawer."  
"Hey, I bought all that gum! No chewing Finnie's gum! It's clearly stated on the drawer!"  
"On the sign you drew in third grade. You can't stop me!" She darts over and grabs the drawer pull, opting to just pull out the entire drawer from my dresser. She sprints from the room, but I run and lunge into her. Gum goes flying. My drawer is smashed, and I heard a strange sound when Johanna subconsciously kicked me after I divebombed her. A cracking sound. Maybe more than one.  
"Ha! I can stop you!"  
"Ohh," she groans.  
"J, are you ok?"  
"Uhn," she says in a muffled voice. I carefully climb off her, and remove the drawer.  
"J, what happened?"  
"Everything hurts," she rasps. I carefully roll her on to her back. There's a a piece of drawer wood in her stomach.  
"J? J? Can you breathe?" I start hyperventilating.  
"Ah- ah.." She gasps. Nobody else is home, so I call 911. I just say I need paramedics at 12 Odesta Street (i kind of like this way of naming things) because my friend can't breathe and I need to give her CPR. They ask if I know how. I do, we learn how to as lifeguards. I hang up and start pumping air into Johanna's chest. Her chest begins to rise and fall slightly but quickly, like her lungs are gasping for air. The paramedics show up, and come upstairs as I yell for them. They push me to the side of the room and it's only then that I realize there's a tear rolling down my cheek. I sink to the floor, and call Katniss first. She's Johanna's and my best friend.  
"Katniss?"  
"Que pasa? That means whats up in spanish!" She says happily. Probably thinks I'm apologizing.  
"Katniss... Johanna and I had a little accident and... Uh."  
"Wh-what happened?" She ask, punctuating her sentence with a nervous laugh.  
"We were rough housing and Johanna grabbed my gum drawer. She was carrying the entire drawer. I tackled her and the drawer shattered. One of the wood thingies got in her stomach, and she couldn't breathe, and I gave her mouth to mouth and there's paramedics here and I'm sorry and please get over here because I need to talk to Annie?" By the end of that string of words I'm hyperventilating and my words blur together.  
"She'll be ok, Finnie, I'm sure she will. I'll be over, m'kay?" she asks, I know she's trying to calm me down because she only calls me Finnie when she wants to sound soothing. I hang up and dial Annie.  
"Hey baby?" she chirps.  
"Jo had an accident. There's EMT's at my house, please come over."  
"I'll be over right away baby!" She blows me a phone kiss and hangs up. I call Gale. I have to say sorry to Gale for Johanna if nobody else.  
"Gale?"  
"Finn? Are you still mad at me?"  
"No, I'm so sorry. Are we cool?"  
"Yeah. How is everybody?"  
"Umm.. Jo just had an accident. They just put her in the ambulance. I think I'm gonna have to lie to them so I can go to the hospital with her. She's going to GWU. Can you go?"  
"'Course. I hope she's ok." Gale hangs up. While his words are aloof and uncaring, his feverish tone and quickened breathing tell me he's scared to death about our little accident. I think he's still preoccupied by Katniss basically breaking his along with three billion others' hearts by telling of his... Problems. Online. I walk up to the EMTs and ask a female if I have to have family ties to go with her to the hospital.  
"Yeah, unless you're married or her fiance, you have to be related."  
"Well, she had a really difficult childhood, didn't really have a family, abusive father, and she kind of lived with me. We're like brother and sister, but she was technically still under the guardianship of her mother and father, even though 80% of the time she slept at our house. Only slept at her house if she absolutely had to."  
"Ohhhh. Well, is anybody else related to her around?"  
"No, they live out in Kansas," I say, not lying, as they really are all out in Kansas. "Shit! I forgot Bryce!" I whisper to myself.  
"Excuse me?"  
"Sorry, I forgot to call dear Johanna's boyfriend here. I'll do it in a sec. Can I come with her? I'm listed as an emergency contact in her medical file," I say hopefully.  
"I guess so. But you can't come to the room."  
"Ok, oh well." I'm shuffled into the ambulance, and EMTs frantically try to keep her breathing until they can hook her up to the machine. I call Bryce.  
"Finn?" he says warily. I never call him.  
"Johanna had an-an- an accid-d-dent. They're trying to k-keep her alive until we get to the hospital." I realize as I say the words that I'm sniffling and stuttering.  
"Holy shit, what happened?" He's crying too.  
"Her stomach got a giant wood drawer wood thing stuck in it," I cry.  
"Is it likely she's gonna- make it?"  
"I dunno! I had to give her CPR. She's passed out. They're pumping her chest like crazy trying to keep her breathing. It's all my fault!" I wail quietly.  
"I'm sure it isn't. Shh shh, I'll come over to the hospital. Which?"  
"GWU. Thanks, Bryce." Bryce is that kind of guy. The one who will comfort anybody, even the one that gave his girlfriend mouth to mouth.  
"No problem. I'll be over." He's trying to hide that he's hyperventilating. I am too, and I hang up. The ambulance pulls into the patient unloading area. I follow into the waiting area, like they said, I can't go in. I begin to scroll my phone. I can't find Jo's parents, but I find Jo's sister's number.  
"Hello- Leanne?"  
"No, Leah. Hi- is this the notorious Finn Jo's always talking about?"  
"I'm sure she is. I have some bad news."  
"Wh-what is it?"  
"Jo had an- accident. She's in the IC."  
"Shit, what did she do to herself this time?"  
"I can't explain. Just come over."  
"I live in Maine, Finn."  
"She's in GWI. If she's all better in a half hour, I'll text you. If she isn't- I'll call." For once I hope I'll be using one of the few texts allowed on my cheap cell phone plan.  
20 minutes of boring old waiting pass...  
I sit at the edge of my seat. A doctor walks out. "How is she?" I ask anxiously.  
"Still in critical condition. She's currently on life support. If she does come out of this she'll need an artificial lung."  
"Is she- conscious?"  
"No. I have to go." He briskly turns on his heel and strides back in. I dial in Jo's sister's number prematurely and wipe away a few stray tears. I close my eyes and hit the call button.  
"How is she?" Jo's sister immediately asks.  
"Critical condition. Needs an artificial lung, she's on life support," I say dryly and emotionlessly.  
"Should I come to New York?"  
"I- I don't know how long she'll hold on. It's gonna be five hours (not a real figure) nonstop driving. I'll ask the doctors about her shortest amount of time left."  
"Ok. I- hope I can come." I keep her on the line and ask the receptionist if I may speak to a doctor. She pushes a button. A doctor rushes over.  
"Sorry to bother, but how long does Jo have at least?"  
"At least three hours. At most she'd survive a few days without the artificial lung."  
"Thank you. I'll tell her sister." She also runs away like the other doctor. "Jo's got anywhere from three hours to a few days without the artificial lung."  
"Oh. I can't just, you know, jump up and leave. I have a husband and kids and elderly parents, and can't strand them only to discover Jo hasn't made it."  
"You're so optimistic. Don't talk like that. I get it, but Jo says you to were never close. Maybe this is your chance to finally reconcile this?" I don't care if she comes, I just need somebody. I hang up, and Katniss walks in with her hair mussed up and dressed in jeans and a pajama top. She evidently drove here quickly.  
"Oh my god, Kat, where's everyone else?"  
"Almost here. How's Jo?"  
"Life support, needs an artificial lung."  
"Shit. How'd she do it, anyway? Idiot."  
"It was my fault kind of a little bit."  
"Finnick Michael Odair, explain yourself," she says in the exact same tone my mother uses with me. I nearly crack up.  
"Well..." I explain how the drawer pierced her stomach, and another fragment popped a lung. Then I explain giving her CPR and all the stuff that followed.  
"Yeah, it's your fault she's alive," Kat sighs, hugging me. Then she sits down and breaks out in tears. I don't know what to do, so I kind of just stand there. Shortly after, Annie, Gale, Bryce, and Clove show up. Clove, Annie, and Bryce are in tears. Bryce's slow and silent, Clove's and Annie's great wheezing sobs like Katniss. Gale walks over to Katniss. She stands up and they hug so tightly it's like they had some minor disagreement rather than all that- yeah.  
Katniss' POV  
I can't even process everything. I'm hugging Gale, Jo is, as I've admitted to myself, pretty much dying, and Finn is at a loss for words. "I'm sorry," I whisper breathily into Gale's ear. Or, more accurately, his shoulder, but I don't care.  
"No, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"  
"No, don't. Could we be-"  
"Back together?" we say simultaneously.  
"If you want to, yes," he says.  
"Of course, Gale, I love you."  
"I love you too." We pull apart and kiss.  
"Eww!" Finn squeals.  
"Look who's talking," Annie comments dryly and quietly. I giggle into Gale's lips. We continue to kiss for a long time, five to seven by my estimates, but it felt like only seconds. I notice Peeta is hanging in the corner. I suddenly feel a little weak-kneed and sit down wobbly. What is he doing here? He doesn't know Jo. I scowl, this kid needs some boundaries. Gale sits down next to me.  
"Baby, what's wrong?"  
"I'm fine. A lot is happening right now," I say, leaning against his shoulder. Amazingly, I have no trust issues, I know he's surrounded by anything but triggers. He pulls me closer and softly plants a kiss on my head.  
"I know you won't tell me. If it's about me, I'm sorry in advance and I wish I hadn't done it."  
"Very funny, I'll tell you later,"  
"I want to know now!" he whines.  
"I want to know why I'm not a billionaire, all it takes is some observation to figure out. Obviously because I'm wasting my life away." Gale chuckles.  
"Uhmm.. oh, is it he?" Gale whispers.  
"Correct," I sigh, "Let's discuss this later."  
Clove eyes us suspiciously.  
"So you two are...?"  
"Yes'm," I smile.  
"What? Kat? Smiling? You must have drugged her."  
"She's on a lighter dose than usual," Gale mouths. Clove cracks up. I see our old, uncomplicated life flash before my eyes. Only I had to bear the burden of Gale's 'sickness'. Now I've given everybody the burden. I pull my knees up and tuck my head between my legs. "What's wrong, Kitty?" Gale's tone is abnormal, sounds like... shit.  
"I miss my drugs," I joke. Nothing stops his attacks though. I need to protect everyone else. I excuse myself, his fists are balling up in anger. I walk to Finn. "Gale's having an attack," I whisper so nobody will be able to hear. I walk to the receptionist, and explain to her quietly about how he's having an attack and he gets violent. She clears the waiting room, and locks Gale alone in the room. He only gets angrier. I ask the receptionist to let me in, mostly to keep him from causing further harm. After much ado from my friends, I smuggle my way in. "Gale?" I say questioningly. His eyes flare up. "Honey, I'm sorry I told the receptionist. I'm just trying to keep everyone safe. Babe, I'm sorry." His eyes bore into mine. Other Gale has made a return. "This isn't you, Gale. You aren't my Gale," I whisper.  
"Bitch," he breathes. His fist connects with my face. I know this is the turning point in our conversation. He's made the first move. I, of course, don't hit him back. He stares at me, waiting.  
"You're in there, Gale, not fooling anyone. Just come out." He shoves me. "No need to get so pushy. Other Gale is here, and we're trying to get rid of Other Gale."  
"Shut UP!" he shrieks, definitely not regular Gale. He kicks me in the stomach, I barely remain standing when he knocks me off my feet. Finn is watching helplessly, I told the receptionist she was not to let him come out no matter what he said or what happened. I close my eyes. At this point you have to ride out the storm. I never fully realized he wasn't consciously doing this.  
"Do whatever you want." I sink to the floor. He's bewildered, and punches me. As he begins to slap me, he barely stops his hand in time.  
"What happened, Kat? I'm so sorry, oh my god, how did everyone disappear?" he says in his real-Gale voice. He picks me up and leads me out. "Why are we locked in?"  
"You.. Had... An... Attack..." I wheeze, and a few seconds later the world turns black.  
Gale's POV  
So now I'm trying understand what the fuck just happened. As soon as I signaled to Finn, who was watching me angrily, that I needed help, he unlocked the door. They whisked Kat away, said her injuries weren't "life-threatening", which doesn't seem good. I still can't believe that I did this. I lean against the wall of the hospital and sink to the floor. Tears mark my face. Finn walks up to me. "You idiot," I growl at him.  
"Really? Why am I an idiot?"  
"Why did you let Kat go in alone? You know I'm not mentally stable."  
"I- it was stupid- I didn't know-"  
"Yes, it was stupid, and you did know! Kat may act like a big girl, but sometimes she needs to be saved from herself."  
"I know, I'm sorry, it's just, you needed help, and..."  
"Don't try to reconcile this. Maybe this is partly my fault, but it's pretty much your fault she's in that hospital bed!" I scream.  
"You're the one that punched her, dumbass!" he yells back, tears pricking at his eyes. That hurt. I close my eyes and sigh, then stalk away.  
A few hours later, as I mope in the hall because he's right, it really is my fault, Kat comes down the hall in a wheelchair. I bury my face in my hands, both her legs are in casts.  
"What have I done? I really am a dumbass," I groan into my hands. She apparently hears me, she rolls up next to me.  
"You have to stop blaming yourself. Who told you you're a dumbass?"  
"How'd you know?"  
"Power of the Katniss, now answer my question."  
"Finnick."  
"That dude's gonna get it when I get out of this cast-" I cut her off.  
"This was a two way argument. I told him it was his fault you're in a cast, he said it was mine."  
"It's not either of your faults. It was other Gale's fault."  
"You need to stop calling him by my name."  
"Should we call him George?" I joke.  
"Sure," she smiles. I haven't seen her smile in a long time. I slip her hand into mine and rub circles on the back of her hand.  
"Fuck you, George. I'm gonna beat the crap out of you," I say, pretending to hit my shoulder. Kat laughs; I've never noticed how beautiful her laughter is. It's a tinkling, light noise, girly, unlike her. Finn soon walks down the hall arrogantly.  
"Decided to run away again, Ga- oh, hi Kat! Why are you hanging around with him?" He says, referring to me in a disgusted tone.  
"Oh, shut up. It's not his fault, and it's not yours. It's George's fault. That doesn't change the fact that you called my boyfriend a dumbass!"  
"Why so defensive? And who's George?" His eyebrows knit up in perplexion. Kat and I lock eyes and then burst into laughter. He's only more confused.  
"George is my arch-nemesis," I joke.  
"I give up," Finn sighs, and then walks over to Kat. I instinctively tighten my grip on her hand. "Kat, why do you do this? Put up with this?"  
"This? What do you mean?"  
"This thing, this crap Gale's putting you through. Kitty, you don't have to always be strong. You don't always have to be the sacrifice, you don't have to. Ever."  
"Crap? Gale? Oh, you mean George. That's what Gale and I named his other identity, sort of, if you know. It's not fair to blame on Gale what George did, right?"  
"Uh-huh. I don't want you two alone."  
"Finn, I can take Gale. or George."  
"I'm like your big bro, and I don't want you to get hurt," he vents.  
"Finn, I'm ok."  
"No, you're not! He's gonna kill you someday! How can you not tell!" His words make me not want to be alone with her in a room, to not leave a chance to let this perfect girl get hurt.  
"Finn. I can take him."  
"No, you can't!"  
"I have before," she whispers hoarsely, a haunted light filling her eyes, filling her of the things he's done, that only seem to make her feel better. Kat closes her eyes and leans back. She's so beautiful, I can't understand why I would want to hurt her- ever. Finn isn't entirely passive towards me yet.  
As he strides away, he whispers under his breath, "It's your fault." I lash out, lunging at him. I punch him in every place it hurts, everywhere.  
Finnick's POV  
He just lunged at me. I don't know why. "Kat, out!" I wheeze as loudly as I can muster with the breath knocked out of me. Her eyes bug out, and she wheels quickly to the end of the hallway. Soon, a doctor comes down the hall. He breaks us up. Gale is staring at me, no longer menacing, but still angry.  
"Gale or George?" I wheeze.  
"Gale, dumbass. Don't blame this on me," he says, turning on his heel and walking to where Kat disappeared.  
The doctor lingers a second. He looks uncomfortable.  
"While all of this happened, your friend slipped into a coma. She has a 15% chance of coming out of it. We gave her the artificial lung, but it didn't work. If she does come out of it, she'll only live a few weeks at most. Do you want to keep her on life support? The longest we can keep her on is a week."  
"Thats not my decision," I choke out, and dial Jo's sister.


	5. Chapter 5

Finnick's POV  
I told her sister. But if I don't think about it, maybe it won't happen. Everything is normal. Jo is sitting in the room over, laughing sarcastically, and embarrassing people, and living. Jo is ok. Jo is ok. Jo is ok.  
Katniss' POV  
I can't believe this is happening. I ask to see her. The uncaring, cold doctor who seems to have no human emotions or sympathy lets me in. I wheel to her bed, and carefully hold her hand. Maybe I can give her some of my life. "Hi, Jo," I whisper. I clear my throat. "Hi, Jo. How the fuck d'you do this? We all seem to be trying to get ourselves killed lately," I dryly laugh, "Well, it seems if you're trying to die, you're still better than me. Always were. Since we were practically fetuses. My mom says you were bigger. You've always been the better one. It seems a bit backward for you to die. Hope you at least wake up to say good bye to your old pal. I'll tell you, Bryce is crying his eyes out- I'd be surprised if you missed it. That's nothing you'd ever want to miss. Finn and Gale are in this giant row over me. Of all people. It's funny, their faces are all red and puffed up. You should see 'em fight." It's almost undetectable, but her eyes flicker open for a second- just a second. I smile. "You're back," I whisper so I'm sure only she can hear. "C'mon, Jo, come back to us, please." Her eyes flicker open. A smile quirks on her lips.  
"Kat?" she whispers hoarsely.  
"Jo. I can play the name game too," I laugh, tears of joy streaming down my face.  
"You look like an idiot in that cast. Never get a bright pink cast again."  
"There's Jo we all know and lo- wait."  
"You're so nice to the girl on her deathbed," she says humorlessly.  
"One sec," I say, and I text Gale. I don't want to leave the room or yell for them.  
Katniss- Jo's awake! Get everybody's ass over here!  
Gale- K  
I shove my phone in my pocket. "How'd you know you were gonna die?"  
"There's some weird shit in this room. Do you see the giant bunny on the ceiling? And the overhead light's too bright."  
"Shit, you're gonna die soon. Can I have your credit card and wallet?"  
"Sure. Oh, and uh... Am I really gonna die?"  
I squirm in my wheelchair for a second before replying, "In all likelihood, within a few days."  
"Shoot. I can feel it. I almost just want to get this over with. Do you think I could get anything done on my bucket list?"  
I snort. "That's your priority? Ok, shoot." Finn, Gale, and everyone else I texted burst in.  
"Is she...?"  
"Clearly alive," Johanna sings, "And my bucket list as follows: make a viral video, do one of those eating challenges and win, and do a space jump thing like that guy-person..."  
"I think we could make a viral video. What do you want to do?" I sigh.  
"We can't do comedy. Or a cool prank or illusion. That leaves a singing video. Kat, we- well, I know you have an amazing voice. Wanna help?"  
"Fuck it! Sure, I'll sing." This is something I'd only do for Jo.  
"What song?"  
"I dunno, Funny or sad?"  
"It would get more views for sad. How about..."  
"If I Die Young," we say in unison.  
"It's absolutely perfect," Annie comments. "It's tragic, fitting, and we can use Kat's popularity."  
"Annie's right," Finn says, "100% perfect." We set up an iPhone as a makeshift camera. Finn begins the song on his iPhone. We begin to sing in harmony.  
If I die young, bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a bed of roses  
Sink me in the river at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song  
Uh oh, uh oh  
Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother  
She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh,  
And life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no  
Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby  
The sharp knife of a short life, oh well  
I've had just enough time  
If I die young, bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a bed of roses  
Sink me in the river at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song  
The sharp knife of a short life, oh well  
I've had just enough time  
And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom  
I'm as green as the ring on my little cold finger,  
I've never known the lovin' of a man  
But it sure felt nice when he was holdin' my hand,  
There's a boy here in town, says he'll love me forever,  
Who would have thought forever could be severed by...  
...the sharp knife of a short life, oh well?  
I've had just enough time  
So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls  
What I never did is done  
A penny for my thoughts, oh, no, I'll sell 'em for a dollar  
They're worth so much more after I'm a goner  
And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'  
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'  
If I die young, bury me in satin  
Lay me down on a bed of roses  
Sink me in the river at dawn  
Send me away with the words of a love song  
Uh oh (uh, oh)  
The ballad of a dove (oh, uh)  
Go with peace and love  
Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket  
Save 'em for a time when you're really gonna need 'em, oh  
The sharp knife of a short life, oh well  
I've had just enough time  
So put on your best, boys, and I'll wear my pearls.  
The room, and part of the hospital, is completely silent. I tap the screen and scoot next to Jo's bed. I wish I could switch places with her. She has such a great life. Friends, romance, a great job. Gutsy-ness. I have almost nothing left here. I know the anti depressants are trying to fight these thoughts, but I've always been a rebel. I smile fakely, my tears giving me away. I've never been a loud crier, never had those great, wheezings sobs. Tears seem to just roll down my cheeks quietly. I look at Jo. Tears are rolling down her face too. At almost the exact same time, our tears hit the sheets. Everyone is hushed and silent. Annie leans into Finnick's arms. Gale is rubbing my shoulder quietly. Clove is leaning against the wall alone, her face marked by trying-to-be-hidden tears. Bryce is sitting by the chair strategically placed by the hospital bed, holding Jo's hand like he can hold her in this world by sheer love. I look back at the camera. I realize that I didn't actually stop the recording, I just accidentally pressed the switch to camera button, which doesnt do anything when you're recording. I squeeze Jo's hand lightly. We make eye contact and I fall back into tears again. Jo shoves me.  
"Why is everyone all silent? And Kat, stop crying fucker. i'm still alive." I laugh. This is the Jo I know.  
"I'm crying because I need you to pay half the rent, I'm gonna have to down grade to the apartment without the kitchenette."  
"Poor baby Katniss! She won't be able to burn grilled cheese anymore," Jo snickers.  
"Hey! That grilled cheese wasn't that burnt!"  
"When you set things on fire, they generally get 'that burnt'."  
"I blew out the fire fairly quickly. They were still edible."  
"Only to you, because you had to be right and eat it just to prove I was being a wuss. Which I wasn't, as you vomited afterwards."  
"You called me a coward for chickening out of skydiving and you threw up after that."  
"Skydiving is fun. Eating fired cheese isn't."  
"Oh, shush and eat your peaches."  
"I don't have any peaches, Brainless." I summon a nurse.  
"Johanna's hungry. Could you get her some peaches? They're her favorite."  
"Sure," the nurse replies warmly. She briskly walks away.  
I stick my tongue out at Jo.  
"Who's brainless now?"  
"Still you."  
"Why?"  
"That wasn't a nurse. That was some random person." Everybody snickers.  
"How did I not notice?"  
"Simple. You're Brainless."  
"Jerk."  
"You have no insult vocabulary. Seriously. Give me your worst."  
"You're a fucking biatch." Jo claps sarcastically and slowly.  
"Wow. 1 point for am f-bomb and -3 for not being able to say bitch. You got -2 out of 10." Everybody claps loudly.  
"Well, you try."  
"Ok. Well, this isn't you, but shut your facehole, you fucking cunt. You're an attention-seeking whore with a mother-fucking tampon shoved way too far up your va-jay-jay. (Sorry peoples i couldnt think of anything else and I just wanted them to have some typical Johanna talk and stuffles. Sowwy fo cussin!)  
"Wait, what the fuck'd you just say?"  
"Exactly. I won."  
"Shush, eat your nonexistent peaches."  
"Stop saying that, it's sad." Everybody cackles with laughter, then falls silent as a doctor rushes in with no breath.  
"We thought there was nothing else we could do. It turns out there is one operation. It's only speculation, nobody's ever tried it before. There's a 20% chance it'll work. We have to do it within a half hour of now or it'll be too late. The only thing is that anesthetic will reverse the effects of the surgery, so we can't give you any painkillers or put you unconscious. Do you want to do it?" Johanna looks at the rest of us for permission.  
"Hell yeah." They rush us out and begin madly preparing. I watch them clean giant instruments for a few minutes, and finally can't watch. I wheel away from the glass and into the waiting room. Waiting is killing me.  
A few hours later...  
We're worried to death. Nobody knows anything, they pulled a curtain on the glass window so we can't see anything in the operating room. A doctor walks into the waiting room. I spring up and fall back in pain, as both my legs are non functional. His face is emotionless. Is that good?  
"May I speak to the friends and relatives of Johanna Mason?" We rush over, but they inadvertently left me behind as I can't move too quickly. Gale darts back and pushes me up to the doctor.  
"I have bad news about your friend." Tears spring in my eyes.  
"During the operation, one of the nurses made a mistake and she-"  
Ooh! Cliffhanger! By the way there will be Everlark soon, dear fanfiction reader peoples! About six people wanted me to do everlark, so everlark it will soon be!


End file.
